Understanding Complex Trauma Beyond the Obvious
By Dr. Millia | Consultant Psychiatrist in Dubai
Complex trauma isn’t always loud or dramatic like PTSD. It doesn’t always involve clear memories of traumatic events. Sometimes, the only sign is a subtle, disorganised sense of self—something you carry quietly in your daily relationships.
As a psychiatrist with over 25 years of experience, I’ve witnessed how deeply trauma shapes people, often in ways they don’t realise. Many clients don’t meet the textbook definition of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)—there are no flashbacks or nightmares. Yet they feel lost, disconnected, or afraid to be seen. This, too, is trauma. This is complex trauma.
You may ask: “If I don’t have classic PTSD symptoms, can I still be living with trauma?”
Why This Is Complex Trauma
Yes. Especially complex or developmental trauma, which often stems from repeated emotional neglect, misattunement, or unrepaired ruptures in early relationships.
Many of these patterns arise from caregivers who themselves were overwhelmed, emotionally unavailable, or inconsistent. The confusion children feel in those moments doesn’t just go away—it becomes part of their internal map of relationships.
That inner map—the way we relate to love, trust, safety, and ourselves—can remain disorganised, fractured, or full of fear well into adulthood. Everyday triggers are neither easily captured nor conceptualised as complex trauma. Those inner aspects, when explored, often come from a young age when we felt confused, scared, worthless, or alone.
How does the Disorganised Sense Of Self present itself within us?
Sensitivities in relationships are a big one. Some of these relational fears are:
Feeling afraid of hurting others and trying to fix or mend it quickly
Feeling afraid of getting close to others, so keep everyone around at a distance
Feeling afraid to speak up when the situation demands this, and making oneself smaller and less visible.
Feeling afraid that others might see who you are, which is either wrong, bad or defective
Feeling like you don’t know who you are, and even scared of this unknown
Feeling like you are not worth being seen and heard, so no point even trying
Feeling like you need to rely on others as you don’t trust yourself to have the capacity to do that.
Fear of being alone and needing reassurance from others.
An Epidemic Hiding in Plain Sight
Does this mean a large portion of the population carries complex trauma?
Yes. I believe that complex trauma is far more common than we think—an emotional epidemic of sorts. But because it doesn’t always match the checklist of a diagnosis, it often goes unnoticed.
Many people carry this quietly—until it shows up in parenting, intimate relationships, or moments of personal crisis.
We often miss the bigger picture when symptoms are put into diagnostic boxes. The impact of such complexities often takes time to unravel. It is not easily spotted in a single consultation session of a psychiatry clinic. Unravelling often takes to deep attachment wounding. These attachment wounds are covered up by daily distractions like school, work, hobbies, and normal life until they appear in the closest of our relationships, and when we become parents.
Healing Complex Trauma: There Is Hope
Healing takes time, care, and safe relational space—whether that’s through IFS therapy, EMDR, or other trauma-informed approaches.
It’s not about fitting your pain into a diagnostic box. It’s about honouring the depth of what you carry and giving it the time and space it needs to heal.
If you recognise yourself in this, know that healing is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.